Phone Angst

So I really want to buy a new phone. A smart one. And according to people, I'm being very dumb about it. What happened was that I started feeling very disconnected to people and my very sleep deprived brain convinced me that if I had Whatsapp on my phone, I would really be connected to others. Hence, a smart phone is required. Then I saw the TV commercials for the Nokia Lumia, and really loved the UI. Take a look:

Isn't it pretty? The design is clean, colorful. And yes, Android beats it in the apps department. Not many games and what have you. But it comes loaded with whatever communications shit you could possible want. And windows 8 office suite. Which, lets face it, is the best office software suit that is there right now. Whatever that is said of the apple and the other crap is just that. Crap. And all its communications are integrated in one place, comes fully loaded with facebook and twitter. Comes with IE but you can easily download whatever other browser you prefer (and lets face it, that's not really an option is it?). Plus, you get tons of music free from the nokia store for a YEAR. And its solidly built, because its nokia. you know its not namby pamby. and wont be destroyed because you dropped it once. 

That's pretty much all I want from a phone. I don't want to be the tech geek of the year. Really, I don't. I'm not very tech savvy. I'm quite happy if you give me a laptop and an internet connection. I don't really need to fiddle with my phone all the time. And besides, I've been using my current one for the last three and a half years, and its going strong. There's nothing wrong with my phone. I just want a change. I got bored using one phone for almost four years. So, sue me. 

I don't need to hear guilt trips about thinking about it a lot before spending so much money on a phone. Because, a) Its 15k. b) I have that money to spend and I don't really spend on ANYTHING c) Why is it so wrong to be frivolous about something ONCE, when I am a scrooge about everything otherwise? I don't need the guilt trip. I do it all by myself. 

Sure, I need to buy myself a scanner and a desktop and a camera and god knows what else, in order to fulfill my long term goals, but why should i be non frivolous all the fucking time? The only frivolous thing I do, is buy books. And there too, I can never do the insanity that other people seem to be naturally gifted with. I just don't know how to spend like a maniac. 

But I didn't. I didn't buy the phone. I walked in and out of the store twice, got pissed at my companion's negativity and walked out, with no resolution in my mind, but a deep resentment.

I hate people. Really.